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auxilary25 41, Female, California, USA - 32 entries

Jul 2007
9:48 PM EDT

14!!!!
I am utter shock! I spent 14 hours straight studying for my tax exam!! My bf and I have practically moved in to the university library...we take lunch, dinner, and snacks so that we don't have to move from the perfect table we get to reserve @ the library when we go early...last night my head almost exploded when it was time to sleep I've been overstressing this exam and I don't know what to do. My prof showed us a preview of exam questions and needless to say this is the WORST exam I'm ever going to take. When we were reviewing the questions my PROF even had doubts as to which of the answer choices could be correct....if he works for the IRS and he doesn't even know which could be correct how can I???
In a normal 6-week summer course profs cut the amount of material they are covering so that the students can actually UNDERSTAND what is being discussed in class...my TAX prof feels that accounting majors should toughen it out and study our asses off...well each chapter is like 30 pages or more and the font size is 10! No pictures...no charts...nothing but pure tax....I'm supposed to read 6 chapters....which 6 chapters x 30 pages is 180 pages of size 10 font and actually know EVERYTHING by Tuesday.
Today I got a break from it all because I had a panic attack when we (my bf & I) arrived @ school. I started getting dizzy..couldn't breathe...my heart was racing and when I turned pale my bf refused to let me stay studying & brought us back home to enjoy the rest of our 5 month anniversary...
I'm so nervous....nervous for me and nervous for him..he needs the A in this class to get his GPA up so that he can get money for school...he's already decided that he's turning to his dad for money when next semester starts since his mom hasn't spoken to him for ONE ENTIRE WEEK ALREADY! This morning when I went to pick my BF up his dad came outside to my car, gave me a kiss, and told me how much he misses me. My bf says that the only person in that family that thinks I'm good for him is his father & since his father has had faith in me at the end of the semester he's going to show him his grades before we were dating and his grades now. That way someone will literally be able to see the changes he is making with me.
It's been really hard for him this week because he was so close to his mom, they used to talk about everything. Now when he comes home she doesn't look up to see him and when she's in the room upstairs she closes the door (when she used to leave it open for him or his brother to talk to her). But he says that he isn't going to apologize or make the gesture to fix this fight because for once he's happy with a girl and has brought her to be a part of his family and instead of being happy for him and embracing it they condone him.
I think there are a lot more comments that were made in regards to our relationship but he doesn't really want to tell me. Today he added that they think I'm in the relationship for the money the family has. She's a millionare (which I didn;'t know until today)...and since I take care of my appearance and always have expensive purses plus an AMerican Express credit card she assumes that the reason I'm dating her son is because he told me how much she's worth and I want a piece of the pie....I want HER money...yet I'm giving my bf money to pay for school that she refuses to pay....I'm eating home made sandwiches and spending on a budget so that I can help her son have some food everyday since she doesn't even give him a FREAKING DOLLAR and she has the nerve to say I'm a golddiger??
He cries everynight because he feels bad that he's put me in this situation..where he's depending on me so much..but he's promised me that he's going to bust his ass so that one day when we have kids (12 yrs from now..yes when I'm 35) I'll be able to stay home and enjoy them...My eyes got teary today because it was our 5 month anniversary and I know he doesn't have ANY money...not even a dollar and he went to one of my neighbors gardens and picked me some flowers so that he could at least give me something. I thought that the gesture was SOOO sweet because those flowers meant everything to him. I prefer those flowers picked with love over any card or gift that he could've just charged up on a card and bought without a meaning. ...and that's something I hope one day his mom will see...not for me but for him...because I know she means the world to him and he's waiting for her to come back to him...but if she doesn't stop condoning this relationship he'll never be able to forgive her...The good this is that we went by the church today after school and prayed for a bit. My bf is a big beliver and devote of the virgin...I saw him cry a bit while we were there and I'm glad because the visit was good for his soul..he was able to release some of the pain he's been holding inside..and I plan on making that a weekly activity...everyone needs prayer....it reminds you of all the good there is in this life

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shadowlove 36, Female, New York, USA - 60 entries

Jul 2007
7:37 PM EDT

I love when me and Sam talk on the phone late at night. It'll either be when her parents aren't home or when she's upstairs and they don't know. She'll say quicky, "Gotta go - bye" and hang up. Like we're breaking the rules by talking...

The quote at the top of the page says, "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not - Dr. Seuss" - I'm not sure what that means but I like it...

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shootingstar420 31, Female, California, USA - 72 entries

Jul 2007
7:30 PM EDT

I HAD ANOTHER DREAM ABOUT HIM AGAIN.BUT THIS TIME WE WERE AT THE BEACH IN A STORMY DAY WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY.IT WAS KINDA AKWARD.ME AND CECI WERE IN THE BEACH SWIMMING.AND THEN HE CAME AND STARED AT ME. WE DECIDED TO GET OUT OF THE OCEAN AND GET DRESSED.AND HE Was staring at me again it was so weird??????????????????

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vjay2 44, Male, India - 84 entries

Jul 2007
4:24 AM I

Mumbai: Discarded Indian seamer Irfan Pathan says he has regained his bowling rhythm after working with Australian pace legend Dennis Lillee and is confident of a quick recall to the national side.
The 22-year-old left-hander was hailed as a future successor to retired all-rounder Kapil Dev after his impressive debut as a teenager until his bowling form deserted him last year.

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shadowlove 36, Female, New York, USA - 60 entries

Jul 2007
6:33 PM EDT

I just finished my Otaku Idol submission... I had to do it acappella because whenever I tryed to overlay my voice and the instrumental song my voice would get all warped. I don't think it came out toooo bad...

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smb 50, Female, Wyoming, USA - 129 entries

Jul 2007
3:21 PM MST

Had a good week! Jett did well and enjoyed school with Marci H and JJ! IT is so nice that they know him and I know them and anyway it was all good! Except the first day they dropped him off at the Rec center and I was told they would drop him off in the back and soI missed him being dropped off in the front! I waited for him for 1 hour and then started to freak out. He walked into the rec center daycare all by himself! He said he wasn't even scared and he was excited he gets to ride a big bus with no seatbelts!

CN was at HotSprings fire all week but he might get to come to Hills ALive this weekend! I am VERY excited and so happy and blessed that we got a room Sat night at Holiday inn Plaza! that is the one right across from the concerts! I am so excited to see Jeremy Camp but all the performers will be excellent and moving! I am looking foward to an awesome spiritual time with my mom and CN and with GOD! "God is good, and God is good all the time!" The boys will stay with my Dad in Sundance and Jay and san will take them too if need be!

My Master's program is kicking my butt! I don't know how I can do this program during the school year! It is so time consuming and I am getting very negative and hate all the BullShit writing! That's all it is, is BS!

OH and I feel like a big fat cow! CN still doesn't want to compliment me or tell me I am fine the way I am, I just want to be loved for who I am and for what I look like! I do wish I could get rid of some belly fat and my thick legs! I try not eating much but then I get headaches and feel weak! I need food for energy and I am trying my hardest to make better choices and not eat crap but I still have my down falls! (chocolate and coffee drinks!)

Whitney got picked up by her mom last night because she got sick! Poor thing! Rhinannon stayed and talked to me for about 1.5 hours about her troubles with Jod,,,, I guess he had been drinking a lot and things aren't good between them! He had sopposedly been cheating on her. THen RB had the gall to tell me she heard a rumor that Donnie was cheating on me with the same gal! I didn't need to hear that! BUT, I just thought to myself, OH WELL, what can I do! Not like I can ask him or anything! He was so messed up, look what he did to himself, HE wasn't in his right mind! AGH!

OH no, water is still on! I have just been swamped with taking care of this house, yard and boys all by myself! I need more help! I feel like I am getting wore down and I just have to keep going!!!! Gotta get that water and get packed for Hills ALIve and get to bed!

YEAHHHH! Jeremy CAMP rocks! I'm so gonna be a happy camper!!!

THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!

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jen18 27, Female, South Dakota, USA - 5 entries

Jul 2007
8:53 PM A

i argree

jen

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charlax 71, Male, Arizona, USA - 744 entries

Jul 2007
12:38 AM MST

the powers that be can be defeated

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cloud 32, Male, Utah, USA - First entry!

Jul 2007
12:46 PM EDT

Me:

me what about me im not that exciting i play made up game with my frinds i play video games all day i have a boring job but at least i get payed i love any girl it kinda wierd

Tags: gaiaonline.com

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shadowlove 36, Female, New York, USA - 60 entries

Jul 2007
7:28 PM EDT

I saw Harry Potter 5 last night (this morning) at midnight... it was amazing. Which is wierd... the 5th book was definatly not the best book, but this definatly might have been the best movie so far. The new director (Yates) is... god. Seriously. Such amazing visuals and cimematography. He HAS to do the next movie (Allison told me he was)!
I have to record Last Song tommarow...

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